If i come over, it means nothing
In the future we'll all be gay
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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