i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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