oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
