:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
