I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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