I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
