Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
