u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
