I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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