Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
