My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
