I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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