fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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