this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
