i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
