Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
