i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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