whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
