Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
