woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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