I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
