So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
