Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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