Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
