so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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