I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
