is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
