this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
