Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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