He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We had sex on a dog bed..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We're too hungover to prance.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
