now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
