I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
