Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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