jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
