Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
