we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
