We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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