Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my mouth tastes like poor choices
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
