i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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