Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
