I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
