I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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