It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
