i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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