u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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