return my video game
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
