I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
