Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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