he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
