great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
