Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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