There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
