At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
