It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
